Library Greed

Do you think it is greedy to take too many books out from the library at one time? I do worry about this.

Nearly every time I visit the library, I leave with more books than one little woman can easily carry in a straining green grocery bag. When I exit the library and return to my car, my decrepit grocery bag, emblazons my shoulder with deep pink ruts. The ruts are my secret badge of honor and I coolly stare off the approaching book junkies as they scamper towards the library. They look with awe at my distended green bag for they see that I drink long and deep at the river of knowledge 'The library'. Half ashamed and half proud of the audacity of my bountiful takings, I waddle, 'heavy with book' lopsidedly towards my car. Later, as I heave the bulging bag in and out of my car boot and then haul my treasures up a steep flight of stairs, I can easily ignore the cruel creases in my shoulder as I contemplate the good reading to be had over the coming days.

But amid all this buoyant book pleasure a little thread of doubt has woven it's way into my thoughts. I guess my concern centers around the quantity of books I like to borrow. You see, being the neurotic manic introvert I am, I don't want my book binging marred by any detection of disapproval from strangers. Yes, I care what strangers, librarians, murderers and aliens think of me. Don't you? It's important to me that I can borrow the maximum number of books possible without committing the crime of taking more than my fair share.

Generally I see other people borrowing anywhere from 1, up to about 6 books. I don't think I've ever seen anyone take as many as me. I frequently take out more than 10 books, usually more like 20 books just for myself. Add to that the hastily grabbed selection of picture books for my younger children and a few novels for the teenager and you have a veritable hoard.

It is with some degree of embarrassment that I front up to the self check out terminal and awkwardly shuffle my teetering pile of books in the too small space, carefully swiping each book and placing it as economically as I can in the too small bag where the crowded  books protrude at unhappy angles. The loud chime that sounds each time the sensor successfully detects the bar-code, sings out a slightly mortifying and insistent audio cue to my gluttony.

Although I'm a little uncomfortable with the noisy nature of the self checkout, I do consider it a slight reprieve from the previous system that was in place. You see, the library I now attend is brand spanking new. 
The space is just utterly gorgeous, with large windows overlooking scenic hills in the distance, a selection of comfy armchairs dotted here and there, and a delightfully whimsical children's area. All crisp and new, it has been stylishly fitted out with all the sleek modern conveniences that a state of the art suburban library should have, including the quintessential Betty Page look alike librarian who dresses as neat as a pin, and smolders in her sexy spectacles while she prevents wayward children from zooming around on the snazzy new office chairs.


It's a delightful air-conditioned pleasure dome, that I have yet to fully take advantage of. I have serious intentions of spending a few decadent hours idly roaming the shelves and lounging laconically in the couches reading contentedly whilst periodically gazing out the window at the expansive skyline and dark green hills. Pausing to provide my mind with a moments repose to let the new words that have just passed my eyes mingle quietly until they are digested into new understandings. 


To date I have only managed, in those small precious windows between mothering and working, to dart in, return a massive pile and then frenetically dash about, sizing up the nature and quality of the victuals that will have to sustain me until I have the chance to return.


Before this splendid facility was bequeathed to my community, us book lovers lived on the meager and miserable rations supplied by a travelling library van that operated one day a week! It was in this tiny rolling book jammed donger that I really had to wrestle with my shame as I fleeced the compact collection of the few delectable morsels and frequently ferreted away an impressive catch into my distended enviro bag.


Some of my guilt was mitigated by two facts. These I repeated in my mind over and over, as I queued in the suffocatingly small space for the librarian to scan my towering pile of books and release me into the fresh air.


Firstly, you should note, that a large portion of the books I was borrowing had actually been ordered in personally, just for me.  Meaning that I was generating significant earnings for the little library van, as I would on a nearly weekly basis, pay 80c for each book I ordered, and you know I had a least 5 books a week coming in with my name on them, sometimes quite a few more.


That brings me to the next fact that assuaged my guilt and that was the frequency with which I borrowed and returned my prolific lendings.  I was there nearly every week! So the books I borrowed weren't out of circulation for very long.


And further to my cause, I might add, I in fact inflated the library vans' holdings when I returned all the juicy offerings I had ordered in from other libraries. This meant that when I returned all the books I had especially ordered in, there were many more books on the library van shelves of an impeccably high standard of readability, rather than the usual dross that regurgitated through the cram packed shelves ad infinitum.

No. When you think about it logically, I was actually doing them a favor. Chances are, there were many people who unknowingly benefited from my serious attachment to good books. It makes me happy to think of people stumbling across unexpectedly cool books in the usually monotonous collection of the library van. Just between you and me, I think the readers that happened to comb the shelves after I had left for the day, should really be thanking their lucky stars that I moved in their circles.

And so out of the squishy confines of the library van where I exist comfortably (in my mind) as a model borrower, a bringer of resources if you will, to the starving sardine like masses mopeing in the library van and back into my lovely suburban library where the air is clean and clear but my moral standing is a little murky.

The problem being, that I haven't ordered any books in since I have been attending the new library because, well frankly, the shelves are chock o block full of innumerable gems. All sparkling and shimmering like seductive rectangled vamps. There's 1000s of them! Oh it's a joy!

However, there are invariably quite a few more people milling about in the new library than there were in the van. Mathematics never being my strong point, I can't quite assemble in my mind the equation to indicate whether I am being greedy or not. If there are say... 50 people in the library and 10 000 books, none of which I've ordered in myself, does that mean I am being a greedy pig when I waltz out of there with a spine crippling load of books?

I'm pretty sure I seen a few dubious looks from some of the elder folk who are stoically  checking out their 1 or 2 large print novels. If I'm good at anything, it is reading a faces, and I'm pretty sure they were thinking that I was a very greedy young woman, who would never have survived the rationing of the 2nd world war, or something of that nature. I think their thoughts would have clustered around perceived infringements of community spirit and maybe to round off a good session of condemnation and unpleasant musing, they would nod imperceptibly to themselves as they as they agreed with their postulation that I was a very good example of complete and utter book nutter.

Well, I'll leave it to you to pass judgement on this simple and trivial matter.  I can't imagine I will stop borrowing vast quantities of books no matter how greedy I feel, and no matter how my cheeks flame as I have a marathon session with the checkout sensor chime.  I'm not sure why other people are so circumspect with their borrowings. Just one or two books?  It hardly seems worth the trip.


I apologize for the length of this post but it was my debut, and well, I got nervous, and you know, babbled a bit. I'll keep the next one short and sweet.  Keeping with the theme of books, I think it is quite fitting that in my next post I offer a brief review of one of my favorite books in my current stash. Well if I've held your interest this long, you a clearly a seasoned reader and if you are a gardener too then I'm sure you will enjoy my next offering. Till then.


Hooroo darlings! 
xox Ambee

Yes, yes. It's coming!

Well I'm a virgin here folks. I'm just trying to ease my way into this gently. I have a few posts in the works and I hope to not keep you waiting too long.

Don't give up on me just yet.

xox Ambee